Introduction

This exhibit will be exploring the grieving process as portrayed in several children's literature works. Specifically, this exhibit will introduce works that surround the topic of death concerning pets and adult figures in the lives of children and will also include books that address the grieving experiences of orphans. In addition, the role of literature in the grieving process of children will also be discussed, considering it's ability to nurture and comfort the grieving child, but also the possibility of communicating hidden messages about death and grief that may or may not be intentional. Throughout its three sections, this exhibit will discuss the factors that affect a child's understanding of grief and how children’s books about the death of a loved one can affect the grieving process of children.

The death of a pet is often the first experience a child has with losing someone that is close to them, so it is not surprising that children become very confused and ask so many questions about death. Because the death of child’s pet may be their first experience with grieving, it is very important that adults play an active role in helping them to understand death provide the answers and patience required for a healthy grieving process. Is also important that the child is free to grieve in his or her own unique way.

Two books in the first section of this exhibit, “Encountering Death: Pet Death Literature,“ that show the involvement of adults are Charlotte Zolotow‘s The Old Dog and Sandol Stoddard Warburg’s Growing Time. These books were chosen because they show two different approaches to portraying the child grieving process. The Old Dog shows a grieving style that is reflective in nature with very little guidance from an adult figure. In contrast, Growing Time shows both the reflection aspect of the child's grieving process and the involvement of several adult family members. Another difference between the books is that the author of The Old Dog seems to use a more negative tone throughout the book, while in Growing Time, Stoddard's descriptions are more positive. These factors will be considered in the overall analysis of how these books affect the child reader's perspective on grief and losing a pet. The last book mentioned in the first section of this exhibit is Mildred Kantrowitz's When Violet Died. This book is different from the two books that were previously mentioned because there is no adult involvement portrayed. The children in this book seem to handle the loss of their pet bird in a positive way without the guidance of an adult, which is an interesting approach in writing about the grieving process of child characters. This section of the exhibit will compare and contrast the three works mentioned to provide an analysis on how children react to death and grief and how the presence or absence of adults can affect their grieving process.

On the other hand, children’s books including the death of a parent or adult figure have different sentiments and expectations regarding the grieving process. Although deaths of adults in children’s literature have been absent throughout the past few decades, it has quickly proliferated in the past thirty years. The death of an adult in children's literature varies dramatically from the death of a pet in children's books. In children's books with adult deaths, children are typically moved through the grieving process rapidly and are able to recover more easily by remembering and honoring the deceased adult. This can be seen in the three books used to explore in the second section on "mourning the dead." At first glance, these books appear to be a form of bibliotherapy for children who have lost a parent and do not understand how to grieve. However, upon closer inspection, it becomes clear to keen observers that there may also be an underlying, subconscious motive for these types of books/stories.

For this exhibit, several children’s books were monitored for the grieving process for when an adult or parent figure passes away. In all of these examined books, the child grieving was only able to stop feeling upset when they came to the conclusion that they must honor the dead parent/adult. This lesson to impressionable children teaches them that instead of mourning, the only way they may feel better is by remembering the dead. In this manner, the adult/parent is immortalized; by being honored and remembered, their last wishes are carried out through their young children. This grieving process in children’s literature thus represents adult anxieties over their own deaths rather than children’s fears over adult deaths. This can be seen in the short stories My Grandpa Died Today and Bye, Mis’ Lela. In both stories, the children find themselves grieving and upset over the death of a close adult. Both children cannot understand the permanence of death and have trouble coming to terms with their difficult emotions. In the end of both stories, however, the children are content and move on with their lives. This is because they both realize that by remembering what their adult figures enjoyed and wanted, they can make them happy, even when they are dead. In addition, they are able to live their spirits on through them by following their last wishes for the children.

Another interesting children’s book, on the topic of the death of a parent, is How It Feels When A Parent Dies by Jill Krementz. This particular book allows readers to understand firsthand the perspectives on some children when a parent of theirs passed away. This exhibit uses this book to further explore the grieving process of children while also understanding how they have come to terms with the death. In this case, the children also grieve less by remembering and honoring their parents, which lends credence to the notion that these kinds of grieving books are more about adult qualms over their own deaths, and not helping children learn how to grieve.

The works by Tomi Urgerer and Roald Dahl give us insight into the functioning of literature as an effective coping medium for child bereavement. As mentioned previously, literature does not always teach children how to grieve properly, but it can subconsciously ease the difficult emotions that accompany the grieving process. We examine the nurturing effects that literature has on child’s grief and how pictures in particular help conjure up the hope needed in order to accept, reflect, and eventually understand their encounter of death. The familial institution is the oldest and most important establishment for children ever known to humanity. The relationship between a child and the parent is very complex. This relationship provides guidance, love, and security, but when the parent or parents fall away in death, the child encounters death within their most intimate and strongest personal bonds.

In Tomi Urgerer’s Allumette, a young girl named Allumette is seen dressed in rags, eating scraps from garbage bins, and wandering the streets hoping to sell matches. “She had no home, she had no parents,” and she has to survive on her own. She is essentially her own parent. Ridicule is present from everyone she encounters, and the people around her neglect to take notice of her suffering and destitution. She even receives threats and insults from the neighborhood baker that would have loved to whack that little dirty nose of hers from the window of his pastry shop. The stains from the drool and snot seeming to irritate him, as the poor girl desires the delicious cakes and pastries that are on display. Starved and desperate, she clinches her little hands together and begins to pray toward the sky. In sincerity, she states, “If this is the end? Please let me live a little bit more, long enough to have a taste of cake, or just one slice of turkey, or ham.” Suddenly, lighting strikes, and from the sky falls everything Allumette ever wanted, her vigor renewed, and her life restored.

In Roald Dahl’s James and the Giant Peach, a boy named James lives happily with his loving parents by the sea in south England, until they die from a rhinoceros. James must to live with his two cruel aunts and endures harsh treatment for three miserable years. James suffers from mistreatment, beatings, starvation, and must sleep on bare floorboards in the attic. That is, until James meets an old man, who gives him the recipe for a magic elixir which, when drunk, will bring him happiness and great adventure. On the way to the house, James spills the principal ingredients onto a barren peach tree, which then produces a single peach as large as a house. The sight of the peach sparks his imagination and James and his friends embark on a magnificent journey filled with many obstacles and hope. The freedom from his distressing circumstance rejuvenates him and in the end, his dreams of happiness and excitement come true. The depictions of the children in these two works explicitly show the downward spiral of grief at first, but as we progress through these texts, we see depictions of an increased state of happiness, health, and prosperity.

Ultimately, grieving in children's literature can be used successfully as a form of bibliotherapy. The three sections for this exhibit explore the various expressions of grieving through different types of death in children's literature. The death of pets seems to work as an initial response and form of grieving for children; in these books, the grieving process is mostly realistic and portrayed with the most emotions. When it comes to children's books with the death of a parent/adult, the books become less about grieving and more about honoring the dead, which suggets a second stage/phase in the overall grieving process. In the final section, that explores orphan literature, the grieving process is depicted even less and symbolically represents moving on from mourning. Although there may be subconscious double motives for these types of books, they ultimately represent stages of grieving and are effective in helping children learn how to mourn over the dead.